I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
