We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
