I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
