Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize