the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
