Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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