I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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