i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Randomize
