Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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