Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
