Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
