i just google imaged poop.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
