How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
