i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
