anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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