remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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