if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
