omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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