just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
