Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
