I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
