yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
