I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
