mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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