So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
