I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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