I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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