Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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