my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
