I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
