so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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