Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
