Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
