I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
