is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
