just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
