if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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