He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
