He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
