Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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