My nipple is on Facebook.
id be glad to
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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