SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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