I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
