Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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