I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
