Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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