Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
