Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
