I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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