The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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