I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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